Singapore

Singapore is not for me. As much as I like the poles on the MRT that branch out into three and then reset to one so you neednt hold peoples hands on acident whilst riding, the city is weird. The people seem unfriendly and difficult to understand, and there is very bizarre architecture. The airport was pretty friendly when I landed with signs being clear and going to customs being simple, but that's mostly because I was off with my south african travel friend post landing to figure out our way out. He had been there before and had to run a few errands first, but I was in no rush enjoying his company. Once we parted ways on the MRT, I was chatting with another man who lives here, suggesting various ways of trekking the city.

Eventually I got to my hostel where it was mandatory to be shoeless in the majority of it, and got a little tour around. I could hardly understand him, but for some reason he moved me from a mixed 4 person dorm (where 3 guys had moved in) to a female 4 person dorm, with only one chick, which shouldve been more expensive, but didn't charge me. Whatever. The bed was hilariously uncomfortable and made noises like a garbage bag, as if it was a reasonable expectation for people to wet the bed. I fell asleep instead of exploring, as it was nearly 11 when settled.

I woke up a bit past 7am, to try to catch a wee skype date, and had to wait to shower, as everyone seemed like they were already awake. Riddled with only dudes, and I was the only white person in the hostel.

I was planning on going to sentosa island, but the weather of my one day here is horrifically overcast and humid. Instead I sucked up 4 hours of internet, skyping with a few people, uploading about 1000 pictures, and booking a few hostels for approaching destinations. As the morning wore on, I realised there are apparently a handful of white people in the hostel, mostly girls. After snacking a bit in the kitchen and talking to two really sweet girls from wellington, I decided to just go out and try to have a day. I walked around a bit looking for something, but found nothing worth doing, and opted to take the MRT for a while, doing a self guided massive city loop.

Biggest mistake ever. Aside from falling asleep briefly and having wicked dreams (I started my malaria meds today, and don't know if I can handle them.. Feeling a bit weird and uncomfortable), it was the worst, most boring, hour and a half ever. It's like, all this place is is buildings and malls. When I got off, I got painfully lost in a massive mall, only to get spit out into another massive mall. No one was helpful, no one spoke english (or they did but couldn't be bothered helping) and I was just feeling shit. I walked into a gorgeous hotel and they helped me take care of my desire to post things, and sent me off with a map, but for that to be the highlight of an afternoon is problematic. I wandered a bit but relied heavily on the mrt for it's lack of internal humidity and made my way to circular quay, which was actually sorta cool if you like spending way too much money on food and drink. Then I was going towards chinatown, map in hand, and was stopped by some older ugly dude asking if I needed help. Finally, some civilian with the fucking tact to be friendly. I said I was going to chinatown. He said I was in chinatown. I assured him I wasn't (fucking idiot.. I can read a map), and he responded by insisting on buying me a drink. The fuck? Obviously said no, and walked off hard. People are so strange. Chinatown had nothing exciting except offensive smells, so I mrt'd back to my hostel, to take a breather before going out in this hellish world again. As a pause of what is hellish, I invite you to read a couple of major irritations I've developed.

The mrt: you go to the ticket counter, and ask for help and instead of telling you the fucking easiest answer ever, they grunt and point to a sign. Yeah, I can read, but if you didn't fucking notice my nonasian face, I'm not from here and could use 2 seconds of your oh-so-precious time.
Then, you buy your overpriced metro card, and realise you bought a thick piece of plastic, that you later are to return to that machine to get back your unintented $1 deposit. Sure it's environmental, but it's ridiculous.
So now your waiting to get on the train, stainding in your fucking holding pin with arrows designating where you're supposed to stand if you're getting on, or getting off, and still no one obeys. I'll get back to this point though.

Cleanliness: not cleanliness, OCD. it's clean, I agree. The city probably saves heaps of money on cleaners (which isn't the best thing people!) But disallowing food or drink on subways, having a fucking sign there that even says 'no durians' (I see no sign for no body odor! Blasphemy), putting a bathroom sign that says 'close door after "big business",' a kitchen sign that suggests you not only wash your dishes after you use them, but before as well, and obnoxiously, like as if we didn't plan on doing it already, reminding on a trashcan to actually put your garbage inside is just rude and insulting.

The people: in addition to creepy-mcCreeps, the chinatown predator, I'm less than pleased with the majority of everyone else. Everyone stares uncomfortably on the mrt, and is extremely pushy, rude, and selfish. Maybe it's just the massive difference from the friendliness of bali, but regardless, it sucks. As I'm writing this a baby on the mrt keeps knocking at my legs, and it's 16 year old parents are to busy watching a movie on their fucking tablet to do anything... But it's not all bad. If you accidentally walk into them, they say sorry.

The control: as I said before with the mrt holding pins, everywhere there are signs telling you what you cannot do, controlling the fucking drones of humans that fill this country. Signs to walk on the left side of the hallway, signs not to jaywalk... Fuck, even chewing gum is banned in this country. Whilst at baggage claim with the aforementioned south african who set me on my way, he saw his surf board a wee ways away, and decided to jump on the belt, cross the center median, jump on the other belt, grab his board, and return in an equally hilarious, and honestly reasonable fashion. Shit like this is so not singapore.

I think this is what they call culture shock. Maybe I just can't handle being in a place as a complete minority, possibly shown by the constant smiles of hello I get from the few other white people I see. It's weird and even telling of a lot, and really changes my perspective. Or it could be the medicine and I'm just getting moody. We'll see when I get to thailand.

Night time got slightly less horrific as I made my way. The far journey to the night safari, an attraction I had been hearing about at their zoo.

You get there, after a train and a bus, wait in line a wee bit, pay a kinda steep price, go in and get seats for a show. It was pretty funny and way more ridiculous and interactive than any show I had ever seen at a place like that. I sat with a girl who was also stopped over in singapore on her way from sydney to ireland, and we both were entertained by their forceful volunteer work, not giving some man a choice of whether or not he wanted a massive snake on his back, only after making the entire first 4 rows absolute flip a shit and move from their seats when they tricked everyone into thinking they lost the next animal for the show (which was that snake). The two asian ladies in front of me screamed and jumped back two rows when it came near. They trained otters to put cans/plastics/papers into recycling bins, and it was overall a great show. After that there's a 45 minute tram ride through a zoo like area, but there are no enclosures, so the animals were hilariously close to the open walls of the tram. Unfortunately it singapoured which put a damper on the ride (tacky, I know.. I can't help myself) and lessened my interest to then pursue a walking tour. It was already nearing 10 pm so I decided to trek back and go to this 'lavander food market' that the girls from nz were raving about in the morning, just a few blocks from my hostel.
24 hours of delicious, cheap, and heavily random food. I wandered first to find the weirdest thing I could order, and after juggling pig intestine soup and fish head curry, I went for frog porridge. I bought a tiger beer as well, to ensure that I try the beer of each country. I wasn't even sitting for 2 minutes before the 3 boys at a nearby table told me to come there. I insisted on them joining me, for my food was arriving based on my table number, and they eventually agreed. 3 students from the phillipines traveleing with their college (all staying in my hostel which explained the mass amount of phillipino people there! It all makes sense now.) They were great fun and there was barely any language barrier. Jon, joe and harlo ordered a hilarious amount of food, and ended up actually making pretty solid headway on it. My frog porridge was delicious. By the end of the late dinner I learned a few words, was given some pesos and a little coin purse, and had it determined that joe was my phillipino boyfriend in singapore. Ha. We walked back and I hung out with me adorable spanish roommate maria for a while sharing stories of our travels before heading to bed.
Come morning I woke up, packed up, and ran to the mall hoping to buy a gopro. I forgot that the whole world didn't run on my time, and that there was no way it would be open at 9 am. I chatted with an airport shuttle driver until 1015, when I decided if it ddidnt open by 1030, I'd have to leave. Idiot jennie then realised there's an information desk that would provide this info, and after finding out it opened at 11, I ran to get an airport taxi. Check in was easy, but when I tried to progress to customs I was stopped to weigh my bag. I thought the weight limit was 10kg, so I was doin that thing with wearing everything I owned, but when I rang in at nearly 11 she said I was 4 kg over, and it's $20 a kg. I took out a bunch, and she was pretty helpful, and got it down to a little over 9. She said I owed 40, but I freaked out that all I had was 35 and she was like, okay, I'll just write it was 1 kg over. What a lovely lady! I got in just fine and wandered the massive airport, lined with gorgeous stores. I ended up finding my desired gopro, for cheaper than at the mall because of duty free and whatnot, and then ate some lunch (noodly chickeny thing?) At the place that my arrival parnter of south africa had recommended. It was yummy and before I knew it I was on the plane, off to bangkok!